I wasn't going to post again, but this story is good.
A man comes in and wants to use a public computer. It is very busy in here today and he has to wait 15 minutes for one of them to free up. He approaches the Children's Librarian and asks her if she can't do something to speed things up. "I only want it for a few minutes," he explains. "I just need to know how long cocaine stays in the body." At the look on Peggy's face he says, "Oh, it's not for me. I need to know for my girlfriend."
Ah, life in the big city. I would miss it living someplace else.