DAY OF THE FUNERAL (TUESDAY, FEB 23)

The day was rainy and cold.  It just suited the mood.  Even as I sit here and type it I have tears in my eyes.  It was so sad to lay Abbey to rest.

Joe put on his new black shirt and it was a little tight but I told him that with his jacket no one would notice.  He had brought a heavy tweed jacket and we were so glad about that.

I got dressed first.  I had a black and white top and a long black skirt.  I found that people dressed more for the funeral than the viewing so I was OK.

DJ came out of his room wearing a lavender shirt (since Abbey's favorite color was lavender most of the men there were wearing that color) and told me that he had to go into town and buy a new shirt.  "Look at this!" he said holding his shirt out.  It was really large on him.  I said, "Hold it.  Don't return that.  I think you should trade with your dad."  It turned out that Joe's black shirt fit him perfectly and DJ's lavender shirt fit Joe.  DJ still went and bought a lavender shirt and tie but kept the black shirt.  Joe wore the lavender shirt and the purple tie he bought the night before.

The babysitter came and took Brantley.
 

Isn't he cute?  I would call him "Mr. B." and he would give me a big smile.

DJ and Danielle left to get him another shirt.  Joe and I left last.  We had a key to the house so we were able to come and go as we pleased.

We went to the funeral home and even though we were early all the parking spaces were taken.  We had to park on the driveway.

We went in and found seats in the fourth row.  There were three reserved rows in front of us and these filled up with what looked to be the entire Tipton County Sheriff's Department.  I have never seen so many police in one place.  Abbey was an alderman and her oldest son Ernie and DJ are both police officers.  That's probably why they were there.  When the place was packed and there were no more seats, the police got up and stood against the wall around the room.

The songs were touching.  The preaching was fantastic.  It was just like being in a church service.  Pastor Hunt (who was one of DJ's cousins) gave a salvation message that was second to none.  If you couldn't understand it after that, forget it.

We all gathered out on the porch and the family led the procession to the graveside.  The cemetery is right next to the funeral home.  After a short ceremony it was over and we were all invited back to Buck and Abbey's home for lunch.

There was so much food.  Unbelievable.  And so many people!  Abbey's sisters were so nice to me.  I didn't know how they would take me because of Abbey being Joe's ex-wife and me the current one.  But I didn't have to worry.  They just loved on me and treated me as if I had been a part of their family my whole life.  They were just the kind of people that anyone would want for their family.

I had some delicious Southern fried chicken.  Joe had some chicken and dumplings.  And lots and lots of other things.  For dessert Joe said he wanted pie and I got him a piece of homemade coconut pie which he said was wonderful.  There were a group of people sitting at the kitchen table and they told me to take a piece of the Hummingbird Cake.  I said I had heard of it, but had never had it.  One lady said to me, "That's because y'all are a northerner.  But y'all should try it because it's good."  And it was.

The saddest part for me was talking to Abbey's husband Buck.  He asked Joe if he had done a good job raising DJ for him.  Joe told him he did an excellent job and DJ and his brothers had grown to be wonderful young men.  Buck started crying and said he had done his best.  He said he didn't know how he would be able to get along without Abbey there.  And he thanked us for coming all the way from Philadelphia.  He said it meant a lot to him and he was hoping we would show up.  Then he turned to me and said that Abbey had thought the world of me and was so looking forward to meeting me this spring.  All I could do was cry just like I'm doing now.

In a little while Joe and I decided to leave.  We told DJ and Danielle we would meet them back at the house.  We changed our clothes and while Joe slept I watched a youtube video and was finally able to buy minutes to put onto my phone.  I tried to switch my minutes over to the new phone again and still couldn't do it.  I'm going to try to get ahold of them today.

When DJ and Danielle got back I asked to take some pictures of them.

Everyone was saying how much Joe and DJ looked alike.  You don't see it so much in these pictures, but they stand alike, they gesture alike, they have the same likes and dislikes down to their favorite color and favorite food.  It's amazing.  And DJ definitely has Joe's chin and eyes.

DJ and Danielle got changed and then took us out to their favorite restaurant -- The Oriental Noodle.  It was a little hole in the wall and I would never have seen it if I were trying to find it.  It was pouring rain so we ran through mud into the place.

The guy who owned it is a former Marine.  He and Joe were talking about the service.  The food was great.  Everyone was coming over to see the baby and say how cute he was.  He was sleeping most of the time.  DJ treated us which was really nice.

So then we went home, talked for a little bit and went to bed.  We knew we had to get up early to get the plane to go home.

This is the end of Day 3.  The hardest day of the visit.  One more day to go.

Kathy

DAY OF THE VIEWING (MONDAY, FEB 22)

I did not have a good sleep on Sunday night.  It's always tough to sleep in a strange bed.  But I was so tired I fell asleep right away.  Four hours later I woke up with the alarm on Joe's CPAP machine going off because the mask was leaking air.  Then I couldn't get back to sleep.  When I did fall asleep I woke up about an hour later.  I went to sleep again and again slept only an hour or so.  So I read for awhile and then got up around 7:00, took a shower and got dressed. I heard D.J. and Danielle in the kitchen eating but by the time I got there, they were gone.  Joe got up then and we decided to go to IHOP for breakfast.  We left a note telling them where we were and what we were doing then hopped in the car and took off.

We had rented a Subaru and let me tell you that car was a dream to drive.  We also rented a GPS and it was a life saver on not getting lost.  It told us that the nearest IHOP was 15 miles away.  I said, "15 miles!" and Joe said that's the way it is down there.  There are no corner stores or walk down the block to a restaurant.  If you don't have a car or don't drive, you are sunk.

Here is the front of D.J.'s house.  His pride and joy Jeep is out front.  I'm glad he didn't move it because I used it as a landmark the whole time we were there.

He has a lot of ground around his house.

 It wasn't hard to find the IHOP.  And driving around there is really easy.  Even in rush hour it's not crowded like it is here.

We got seated right away.  Our waitress was so nice and attentive.

I had chicken and waffles with blueberry syrup.  It was wonderful.

Joe had the breakfast sampler and coffee.

Lots of coffee.

 The food was really good and we were full by the time we left.

We then went next door to Walmart.  We had brought light weight and in between clothes thinking it would be warm down there.  It wasn't.  So we were freezing.  I bought a very pretty long gray sweater that I ended up almost living in while I was there.  It was so warm.  I also got some sweat pants and a hooded pullover sweater.  Joe got a camo jacket and some shirts.  We found out that Abbey's favorite color was purple and a lot of people were going to be wearing purple to the funeral.  Joe wanted to honor her and wear purple too.  He found a purple tie, but there was no shirt anywhere near that color.  So he bought a black shirt.  It was a little tight on him, but he figured he could pull it off for the funeral.

We headed back to the house to change for the viewing.  I wore a short gray dress with black leggings and that wonderful gray sweater I had just bought.  Joe was wearing black pants, a gray shirt, black jacket and a black and gray tie.  In Philly we always dress up to go to a viewing.

D.J. came back to the house.  He had been at the funeral home.  He said he was just going in jeans.  Jeans?  He had to be there early, so since Joe knew where it was, we just went ourselves.

The viewing as at Covington Funeral Home.

The place was packed.  And almost everyone was in jeans or some other casual wear.  Joe and I were definitely overdressed!

It was so very sad.  I so wanted to meet Abbey.  We had planned on going down in about 8 weeks and Abbey and I were looking forward to sitting in a corner and talking and talking.  She was one of the sweetest, nicest people I have ever had the privilege to know. It was strange to be there looking at her body and not talking with her. I'm so glad I had the chance to know her through talking to her on the phone and emailing.

Joe introduced me to her sisters and brother, her other children and some other family members that he knew, including her husband.  Everyone was so grateful that we came all the way from Philadelphia.  Everyone was so nice to us.

We saw D.J.'s ex-wife there and went up to talk to her for awhile.  Her cancer is back and she may be losing her vocal chords entirely.   Please  pray for her.

Sometime during the day I lost my cell phone.  I searched the room we were in, all my pockets, my purses, the car.  Nothing.  D.J. had been calling me and he said no one answered.  So we left the viewing a little early and went back to IHOP and Walmart to see if anyone had turned it in.  No luck.

I ended up buying a new phone because I had to have one.  The lady in Walmart was about to close up, but she opened the store up again to help us. Everyone we met down there was so nice and helpful.  She tried to get my minutes transferred over, but their system was down.  When we got home D.J. tried and later I tried.  No luck.  So I ended up buying minutes so I could use the phone.  At least I was able to keep my number.  But all my contacts and photos are gone.  Things I will never be able to get again.  I didn't save them anywhere else.  Oh well, it's only a thing. So my old phone is somewhere in Tipton County, Tennessee and your guess is as good as mine where it is.

As we were driving back to D.J.'s house we passed a DQ Grill and Chill.  Every time we passed this Joe kept telling me how good it was.  So this time we stopped and went in to get burgers.  (We have Dairy Queen but no Grill and Chill.  I have never heard of it before.)

We got burgers and Joe got a blizzard.  There were only two other people in there -- a father and daughter.  We started talking to them and he and Joe struck up quite a friendship.  They exchanged phone numbers and even called each other tonight.  This was a God moment for sure since he is a born again Christian and so is his daughter.  We had such a good time talking with them.

When we got back to the house D.J. and Danielle were waiting for us.  They were worried because they didn't know where we were (we had been gone 3 hours) and I had no phone so they couldn't reach us.  They thought we had gotten lost or something happened and we couldn't even call 911.  It's nice to know your kids care about you.

So after spending some time with them, we went to bed.  The funeral was the next day.

This is the end of Day 2.

Kathy

IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY ABOVE THE CLOUDS (SUNDAY FEB 21)

We are back after a very long and very hard trip where everything seemed to go wrong.  But God is good and saw us through it all.  And there was a LOT of good that happened during our trip south.  There is too much to tell in just one entry, so I will tell it in parts and hope you don't mind reading a lot as you go along.  And be prepared for picture overload.

We got up early and headed for the Lehigh Valley International Airport in Allentown.  By driving for two hours to Allentown we saved $600 each on our tickets as opposed to flying out of Philadelphia.  The flight from Allentown back to Philadelphia was 16 minutes and we got on the exact plane we would have paid the extra money for.  Fortunately we were able to sit together both flights because I was scared!

Here is Joe pushing the luggage cart from our car to the main entrance to the Lehigh Valley International Airport.

 Since neither of us have flown since the 90s, we weren't sure what to do or where to go.  The ticket agent was so great.  She showed Joe how to use the kiosk and got us boarding passes.  She checked in our baggage and told us where security and the gate was.  The TSA were great too.  So nice and helpful.  Of all the airports we were in this week, Allentown was by far our favorite.

We had a little bit of a wait, so I was taking pictures in the waiting area.  Here is the control tower seen out of the window.

We were laughing about this and I really took this picture for my brother, Larry.  This used to be a bank of pay phones, but now everyone has their cells.

I got a water and Joe got a soda while we were waiting.  We really wanted something to drink but carrying those bottles around and on the planes was a pain.  We hadn't eaten breakfast so Joe got a muffin and I got a bag of chips which I didn't finish.

Watching the planes.

This was our plane and I was standing at the window watching them load the luggage.  Yes, we went down to the tarmac and climbed the steps into the plane.

I was pointing out to Joe that they were loading our bags.  Everything was going up a conveyor belt into the belly of the plane. I had just said, "There's mine."  I saw Joe's bag behind mine.  They all went in easily except for his which go caught in the belt and fell to the ground.  I started laughing and he took this picture.

Here's Joe in the plane just before take off.  We were sitting in the last row of a very small turboprop plane.  I was scared, but the takeoff was smooth and actually the best one of the four.

Allentown, PA from the air.

I thought it was cool seeing the clouds up close and personal.

There was snow in some places in Allentown and as you can see most of the Lehigh River was frozen.

Limerick Nuclear Power Plant.  I've never seen it from the air before.

We made it to Philly.

Here is the plane we flew on.  Tiny with propellers.  There was a lot of turbulence when we were landing and I got sick.  I felt as if I were on a roller coaster.

We still hadn't eaten except for that little bit, so we stopped to get some food.  Joe had a bagel.  I told him with his hat he looked like a little Jewish man.  He liked that!

I had a fruit cup which was delicious.  I didn't have time to finish it, so I ate the rest of it at D.J.'s house.

We took off from Philly.  This time in a jet.  It was a much smoother ride.  I was hoping to see some of the country we were flying over, but it was very cloudy and stormy so we flew above the clouds where it's always sunny.  I thought it looked like heaven at first, but later decided it looked like a snow field.  I was disappointed not to see the ground, but it was nice.

We landed in Memphis and it was a much smoother landing than the one in Philly.

Welcome to Memphis!

The airport was filled with beautiful fountains.

 D.J. was supposed to meet us at the airport but our cell phones didn't work in the airport and we couldn't find him.  We went down to get our rental car.  We just got in the car when my phone rang.  I answered and it was him.  He and his girlfriend, Danielle,and Danielle's baby Brantley were in the airport and had been there an hour looking for us.  I told him where we were and then both of our phones went out again.  Joe went to find him and as he rang for the elevator the doors opened and there they were. 
All of them were surprised.  I was sitting in the car waiting for them, but I would have loved to have been there to see their faces.

D.J. drove the rental car back to his house.  He insisted we stay with them and not get a hotel room.  I think he wanted his dad close.  So we stayed in Danielle's oldest son's room.  He was with his dad.  We had our own bathroom.

D.J. gave me a tour of the house and it is beautiful.  He is fixing it up so there are a lot of "projects" he is in the middle of, but you can tell how nice it is going to be once he is finished.

We had to go to Walmart to get some things we hadn't brought with us.  Since we were flying we decided to buy things when we got there rather than be stopped when going through security.  The Walmart there was huge and beautiful.  Besides getting our toiletries we each got a St. Patrick's Day t-shirt for $3.  I also got a gray and black purse for $8.  The only purse I had with me was a pink quilted one and I thought it would be better to have black or gray.  I've been looking for a new purse and this was was beautiful.  The prices were so different than up north.

We went back to D.J.'s and Danielle's mom came over with dinner for us.  She brought us salad, spaghetti and garlic bread.  Everything was yummy.  Her name is Sandra and she was so sweet and nice.  People kept coming over and bringing food.  That seems to be the thing they do there.  We used to do that here in Philly, but I don't know anyone who does that anymore.

After a lot of haggling, Joe was able to cancel the hotel reservations and since we were beat we went to bed.

The end of Day 1.  More to come.

Kathy